The Sock Conundrum

"Those who never philosophized until they met with disappointments, have mostly become disappointed philosophers." Arthur Helps

Now, if you told me when I was a heady young child that I would one day look forward to receiving a pair of socks for the holidays, I would've slapped you square in the face. Metaphorically speaking of course, as I was the rare and undesirable combination of short, fat, weak and terribly shy. A few things have changed since then...I'm slightly less short and markedly less fat (but still joyously huggable for the holidays), and despite having suffered a brand of muscle atrophy normally reserved for invalids and shut-ins over the past 18 months due to my only-partially-by-choice sedentary lifestyle, I overcome the boundaries set for me by physical weakness with an unbridled sense of invincibility and confidence - often aided by heavy drinking of course. While most of these changes are expected growth patterns associated with "being an adult", I'm still saddened by the fact that I would receive a hosierious gift with open excitement. I mean, I really need some socks people.

The so-called Sock Conundrum - whether or not I'm to be happy with the receipt of a sealed off set of cotton tubes into which I might stick my tootsies when as a child I'd be appalled at such a notion - is translatable to any sort of gift of utility that in our younger days would be considered unacceptable. A tie, a sweater, a phone charger, 200-count ibuprofen packages, whatever... the point is that as soon as these things weren't just provided for me by my parents, I realized how much I really liked having them and how I needed to actively procure them for myself during the course of an otherwise busy day.

Brewmaster Marshall and I spent a good portion of yesterday evening discussing this and other Brewmaster-type problems (What type of beer should we make next? Why aren't more people out drinking on a Monday night? Why is that guy passed out in a tree planter? Why did we get into a tickle fight with that bouncer?) and I think we've both come to terms with being happy about getting socks. I don't get that sense of disappointment that would've hung over the evening like a bunch of ill-mannered frat boys around a game of naked Photo Hunt, in fact, I think I'm quite thankful to get anything for free, let alone some pretty righteous socks. Once I stopped worrying about what I'll be when I grow up and started worrying about having to actually grow up, present-disappointment became less of an issue.

Lucky for all you brew-thusiasts out there, you'll never have to be disappointed with your joyous receipts from the EVBC. B.M. and I recently picked up the next batch of grains and what not for Brewmaggedon 3, Son of Brewmaggedon, and a kick-ass Trapist style white ale is just a few delicious weeks away! We're already setting up shop for Poppin Bottles Deux (date forthcoming) and we can't wait to shower our fans with presents and of course, delicious tasty homebrew. Until then, kids, enjoy your holiday gifts and say thanks to everyone nice enough to get you something- even if it was just a pair of socks.

Merry X-mas, Brewthusiasts!!!

Ho ho ho, kids! I hit up Mr. Santa T's beeper and he hit me back with a complex string of numerical codes which informed me which of you have been naughty and which have been nice... but it breaks down pretty clearly along these lines:

Nice - fans of the EVBC on facebook and/or attended the Poppin Bottles party.

Naughty - Failed to be dutiful fans and/or gave me dirty looks at the Poppin Bottles party (lookin at you, Mike)

But, being the benevolent Brewmasters we are, Marshall and I are happy to forgive and forget! We got a new batch bottled up and nearly ready for consumption (look for party notifications soon) and we're still clipping along on the Facebook front.

For now, enjoy the holiday season - hopefully you all get some time away from the office, a couple long overdue fights with your family and a healthy dose of self-conscious over eating with the promise of a dietary change beginning January 1st...which clearly justifies eating that extra gingerbread cookie and plate of Christmas turducken.

Brewey Brewmas to all, and to all some good beer!

EVBC HQ Status Report - like an 8-k for your liver!

Greetings, fellow brew-thusiasts! We here at the East Village Brewing Company could not be happier with our friggin' awesome Poppin Bottles party last Thursday evening! To all those who attended, your Brewmasters once again wish to extend a drunken thank you in the form of an increasingly complicated fist bump/handshake.

To all those who did not make it, either due to waning fan-dom or to waxing work loads, fear not - Brewmaster Marshall and I were so impressed with how well round one went that we're hotly anticipating a Poppin Bottles redux in early January. Now that the last of the Stuy Town Nut Brown bottles from our uber-successful roll-out party last Thursday have been cleared and the counters of EVBC HQ finally wiped down to make room for bags of Chinese take-out and empty hummus containers, we can turn our attention to things to come - in other words, a bit of a 'how we doin' status report.

1. "Jeez guys, this isn't the worst beer I've ever had!" - Thanks! Yes, its true, people seemed to actually LIKE the beer! That warms our East Village hearts...we want to do our brand proud, after all. General consensus is that we had pretty well approximated a Newcastle-style flavor and consistency, which was the overall goal. Mission accomplished!

2. "So when the hell is my next batch ready?" - Keep your pants on, drunky, it'll be all set right in time for B.M.'s birthday in early January! Remember, you NEVER ask a Brewmaster his age... but to give you a hint, he's turning 20-beautiful. We moved the Irish Red ale we've been working on over to the secondary fermenter just this past weekend and it's lookin mighty fine. Avenue A-le is go - Mission accomplished!

3. "Brewmaster Eric, we find your blog to be thoroughly entertaining and we love being a fan of the EVBC on Facebook. You provide me with some awesome brewing knowledge while at the same time engage me intellectually and emotionally with your heartsome discourse." Didn't really hear a question in there, but thanks! We love having all you Tastemasters and Tastemistresses along for the ride... In fact, we're right up to nearly 80 fans on Facebook! I'd love to get up to 100 by the New Year's Eve EVBC Holiday Party so our marketing team will have something to celebrate. Our latest buzz-media attacks have been slow to grow (Twitter fail!) and they're feeling sad. So, tell your friends, tell your loved ones, and tell those extended network people who honestly just love posting shit in their Facebook page to sign up by searching for us at 'East Village Brewing Company'. Together WE CAN hit 100 fans by New Years! Mission Accomplished!!!

Let's get Topical, Topical...I wanna get Topicaaaaal!

Brewmaster Marshall and I consider ourselves men about town... Sure, we're busy bees with all the normal goings on but we're nothing if we don't keep up with pop culture. Whether we're attending super fly dj parties in Billyburg or getting in touch with the 'normals' at the Jimmy V basketball classic at MSG, we're dope mother f-ers. That's why I keep my finger on the pulse of the city...you know, make sure it feels ok, send it funny text messages like "where r u, iz in ur kizchn, eatsin ur pad tie!" or just staring at it longingly through the window with some sweet night vision goggles I picked up on eBay. You know, cause we're cool and junk.

And everyone in the know makes sure to check their NYAM Bits O' Buzz column cause that's where the hottest of the hot get their info. Needless to say, I was pretty cheesed off when I saw that Tila Tequila made it back into the headlines but our awesome Poppin' Bottles party didn't get any coverage! Tila's gone from MySpace hottie to boob tube superstar to Shawn Merriman lawsuit maker to virtual obscurity, but she's back and she's gettin hitched. Anyways, we here at the East Village Brewing Company wish her and her new partner-to-be all the best - we're just bitter we got snubbed AGAIN by the free commuter news dailies. The good news however is that EVBC breaks open its first batch of Stuy Town Nut Brown this evening, 8pm at EVBC HQ!! Even if it's not news that's fit to print, its surely worth blogging about!

Nearly as exciting? I think B.M. and I will be entering this Saturday's 'Best Dance Crew' open calls and we need a few pop-n-lockers to help round out the team. I can do a pretty sick head spin, and I was an underprivileged youth who found that through dancing I could save my embattled community center from the sinister grasp of some local business developers. Marshall can literally do two flips in the air from the second position while wearing his sweet Air Force Ones that he scammed off the back of a truck. We'll probably need a couple sassy ladies and at least one break dancing Asian dude to pull this off. Jinwoo, looking in your direction buddy...

So come one, come all - EVBC Poppin Bottles Party/Dance Crew Tryouts, Tonight at 8pm!

And now, here's something we hope you'll really like!

Thanks to Thrillist and the ever watchful eyes of Tastemistress Purvi, EVBC HQ is happy to bring you an entertaining and thought-provoking cartoon about beer fun facts from 'The Oatmeal'. The description of the brewing process is super simplified and quite informative! I strongly encourage you to grow as a person and explore The Oatmeal's other cartoon offerings (Brewmaster's favorites include How to Ride a Pony and How to Tell if your Loved Ones are Planning to Eat You).

Hilarious post theme lost to ages due to whiskey shots

"Listen up, tastemasters and tastemistresses. Our joke has been boozily forgotten for nearly 12 hours. What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every brew house, ale house, slop house and pancake house in the area. Checkpoints go up (and pants down) at fifteen High Lifes. Your fugitive's name is 'hilarious caption for a googled picture of a dude yelling on the phone'. Go get it."

It's true, friends, sad but true. Last night while I lay in bed after a solid night of mild boozery, I thought up what I was sure was the funniest goddam caption for this random picture I have. I downloaded said image a few weeks back and have been waiting to unleash it upon the word with a clever caption and post theme that would result in laughing fits, sides split, world peace and possibly some sort of hilarious writing fellowship with the Onion. Yes, it was that good.

As I drifted near to sleep, I even contemplated getting up to write said joke down. I said to myself, "Brewmaster Eric, you handsome bastard, you've done it again. With your wit and charm it is a crime that you haven't been exhalted by the masses as a literary genius whose jocularity is matched only by the great comedians of yore. Without you, we'd be lost as a society and frankly, without the East Village Brewing Company my life as I know it might as well be forfeit. Praps you should get up and jot down your latest musings so as to ensure their preservation for the ages, thus may others enjoy your humor as you do."

I made some pretty strong points. I considered them, rolled them about in my head, and being the dutiful Brewmaster I am, scaled them against their counter-arguments to make sure that getting up to write this caption down would be best. My brazen response - "fuck it, I'm sure I'll remember it tomorrow. I'll just repeat it to myself three times to be sure."

Friends, I'm pretty sure I didn't even bother repeating it to myself. What gall! Ever the faithful believer that drunk Eric is my friend, I awoke this morning loathe to find not a single scrap of paper marking my hilariosity! Clearly I've angered the beast within...what else could explain my drunken insolence.

Of course, we here at EVBC HQ mourn the loss of any fallen joke - be they forgotten in a whiskey fueled haze, thrown away after being scribbled onto a bar room napkin or lost into the internet ether like so many mis-labeled gmails archived into "Credit Cards/Bills" instead of "EVBC". But our period of sadness cannot last forever...nay, the joke would've wanted us to move on. To find happiness. To come up with other jokes...and joke we shall! Many societies mourn with group based cathartic drinking (that's how I approach Jets football as well) - so remember, come one come all to our Poppin Bottles fiasco next Thursday evening, Dec. 10th at Brewmaster Eric's house so we can give this poor lost caption a proper send off.

Let our mumbled boastings, propelled upward by so many popped bottles, guide this caption to joke heaven on brown ale-smelling wings of glory.

Poppin' Bottles

Brewmasters Eric and Marshall cordially invite all of our tastemaster friends for the popping of our first batch of Stuy Town Nut Brown Ale.  This fête de l'année will take place on Thursday, December 10th from 8 - 11 pm at the EVBC HQ.  Please bring a six pack of your favorite nice beer to share with our incredibly witty and beautiful friends.  PBR and High Life won't cut it.  Good stuff for good friends.


RSVP here.  The EVBC salutes you!

Brewmaster Eric gives thanks for MS Paint

Brewmaggedon 2 arrives, locals feign interest

I address you tonight not as a Brewmaster of the EVBC, not as the leader of domestic brewing Operations, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. B.M. calls this day "Brewmageddon 2" - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a brewery has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this apocryphal disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellent beer, brewey knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into Brooklyn; all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations; even the Brew-wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrongs and the discord; through all of the pain and suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our brewery above its origins, and that is our liquid yeast. No, I'm just kidding, its courage. The dreams of an entire fanbase are focused tonight on those two brave souls, day drinking and watching various disaster themed movies while trying to specifically measure out the most exact portions of hops and malts, conducting the trickiest of calculations. And may we all, fans of the EVBC the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to us.

All I know is that I know nothing (about brewing)

"I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled poets to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean. " Socrates


This weekend, I realized I'm a lot like Socrates. I'm white, bearded, slightly overweight, prefer to wear sandals and am often accused of corrupting the youth. Then again, all I really know about Socrates is what I gleaned from my drunken viewings of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. It's far more likely that the real Socrates didn't carry around his bag of trusty hops with him, just in case someone needed to brew on a moments notice. Lucky for you, my fellow brew-thusiasts, I never leave home without a satchel full of East Kent Goldings - just in case!

But it's not just about the hops kids, no siree...EVBC-fever is far more than that! Over the past week or so, I flipped through William Moore's "Home Beermaking - The Complete Beginner's Guidebook" in order to further educate myself on the science and art of brewing. I've learned a lot so far - and I decided to roll out some of this knowledge on the pros at Brooklyn Home Brew while we picked up supplies for this Wednesday's "Brewmaggedon 2 - This time, it's personal." How smart I sounded, asking 'bout the difference between IBU and HBU, determining which malted barley was best for our Avenue A-le and even going so far as to correctly describe why liquid yeast is better than dry yeast (cause it costs more, that's how you know things are better, cause they cost more).

All my genius of course was blown to smithereenies when the kindly shop keep reacted quite negatively to our using of an aluminum brew pot during round one...apparently a no-no in the brewing world. B.M. and I marveled at the ease with which our beer could be siphoned going forward were we to use proper sized tubing...apparently we've been making do with a less efficient method of beer-movement. The real humility didn't set in though until I had to ask how to open the bathroom door...apparently P-U-L-L means using force to move an object towards you instead of away. My bad on that one.

What was supposed to be a quick trip for a brew kit turned into a life lesson - remember, no matter how much you think you know, there's always more to be learned. Also, wipe your feet before coming inside, because frankly you're making a mess of the brew shop. I have to disagree with Mr. So-crates slightly on something though...maybe I don't need to know that I know nothing about brewing, but instead just need to keep studying, keep reading, keep brewing and keep drinking (for learning purposes I assure you). I think that's what Socrates was angling for anyways.

WAR!

"Anybody can become angry -- that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." Aristotle

Tastemasters! A challenge has been issued...our beloved East Village Brewing Company attacked. The sanctity of our union assaulted. The loathsome curs at the Oregon based brew company known only as "Alameda" have stumbled into a minefield they could not have possibly foreseen. For months now our motley crew desired a land of opportunity and prosperity for Brewmasters of all generations to come together and as one create a greater class of brew-thusiast, the likes of which the world has never before known. But alas, the road to greatness is fraught with disaster and the first road block to happiness, arisen. Alameda has seen fit to create a seasonal brew they call "East Village Amber".

Sure, they are an established and respected brew pub. Sure, they operate on the west coast and have little to no overlap with our desired market share. And sure, their yelp.com post speaks nothing but the the finest of their character and service - but their spiteful moniker mocks our every step. From hells heart, the stab at us. Lightly we shall not take their affront to the EVBC lifestyle! East Village awesomeness is ours to enjoy, nay, our birthright!

Fear not, my darlings, for ours is a love borne of devotion and faith. Brewmaggedon 2009 saw the inception of the upstart local brew crew empowered by the desire to run with the big dogs. Through our fandom on Facebook and followship here in the blogosphere, our verein is steeled against the mordant barbs and spears of such West-Coast pretenders to the throne! With our sweet ass logo in place, Brewmaster Marshall and myself shall guide the precious flock through these troubling times. So sang the prophet Greg Graffin, "Victory! Instinct over intellect... Victory! It comes from deep inside!" Dig deep, friends, dig deep... thus begins a great brew war steeped in the classic East Coast-West Coast battlin' tradition. Alameda has called upon us to rise to greatness...they serve us with a phantom menace for the ages. Tupac to our B.I.G...Tybalt to our Romeo...Backstreet to our N'Sync (you're goddam right we get Justin).

Your devoted and faithful Brewmasters shall not sit idly by whilst our bitter rivals best us with their "actually being a brewery" status. Thus we invoke "Brewmaggedon 2 - This time, it's personal". Come Wednesday next, B.M. and I embark on our second round of brewey greatness. And just in case you get any ideas, you Alameda thugs, we're calling Marshall's DAD.

The Manhattan bound EVBC-pride train is arriving - next stop, Avenue A-le.
Cry me a river, mother f-er. Shit. Just. Got. Real.

Getting with the times...

I know the EVBC has been around for a weeks already, and people have wondered, "Hey - why don't you have a Facebook page yet?  I'm dying to be a fan there."  Well we've heard your cries through the virtual wires, and have unveiled our EVBC fan page here.

There's also our nifty, new logo as well.  Hope you like it because the customized t-shirts, coozies, visors, buttons, portable coolers, slap-chops, snuggies, and rotisseries have already been ordered.

Specific gravity

nerves racked, we measure
how strong our brew, i wonder...
six percent - success!

Capped!

B.E., our trusty Brew Apprentice Mike, and I completed the final step of the brewing process tonight - the capping of the bottles.

First we boiled some water and added some special sugar to make a simple syrup, which will eventually give it that frothy carbonation.  Then we added the beer to the syrup, and hooked up this ingenious little tube and valve to the container.  After filling up 47 bottles, we capped them all off with this great bottle capper.

Now all we do is sit back and wait for the beer to be ready.  Estimates range from 2-4 weeks.  Stay tuned here for details on the official "Uncapping Party" at the EVBC Brewery!

Adventure! Excitement! EVBC!

"On a Friday night in season, you can buy or sell anything from moose meat to ketamine, and hear some of the most arrant lies ever put to language." Michael Chabon, The Yiddish Policeman's Union

Tastemasters! Exciting days at the EVBC! Brewmaster Eric has recently returned from his trip to the savage jungle land of Central America. After tirelessly machete-hacking his way through several coconuts in the tropical isles of the Kuna Yala, and bravely dancing with the local fauna in El Valle, B.E. returns successful from his search for spices and flavors from the storied Panama countryside. After bravely venturing where no man (in the EVBC) has gone before, Brewmaster Eric brought to EVBCHQ dozens of ideas for new brews...at least four of which seem viable!

In other brew-thusiast news, secondary fermenting wraps up this weekend. Brewmaster Marshall and I will be setting down to bottle our inaugural batch of Stuy Town Brown Ale this Sunday, meaning the brews-day clock is ticking down to zero hour at a fevered pace. I spent this afternoon hunting for local home brew shops that had bottle supplies, and found that my traveling days were far from over...I had to go to Brooklyn! Not Williamsburg, mind you, where the hipsters have tamed the wilds and settled the land like so many French missionaries to Africa before them.

Nay, I ventured to Brooklyn Homebrew in Sunset Park off the R train - a very recently started home brew supply shop housed on the second floor of a charming Brooklyn brownstone. I was greeted by what seemed to be a husband and wife duo with matching ring finger tattoos (totes adorbs!) and walked into a living room filled with specialty grains, buckets of hops and the soothing sounds of the Dead Milkmen's "Punk Rock Girl". While I'm more partial to the Diesel Boy cover of the same, the joyous orchestra of sights, sounds and smells overwhelmed my senses...my faithful backwoods-Brooklyn-journey rewarded. I walked among the half-dozen bearded and bespectacled Brooklynites, spoke their brewey language and lived to tell about it!

Tastemasters, like with any great trip to unknown faraway lands, I returned home a changed man. I learned of a great local brewshop a mere 45 minutes from Manhattan, had under my arm two cases of amber tinted bottles and found my beer-making resolve redoubled. During tomorrow's bottling, B.M. and I will discuss potential debut party dates, and soon your patience, my darlings, shall be rewarded with brew.

There once was a brewmaster poet...

In celebration of secondary fermenting, I've whipped up some bawdy limericks for everyone's enjoyment.

The Ballad of B.M.
If you run into Brewmaster Thompson /
Don't ask 'bout his brew-making johnson /
It mixes the grains /
But oft fails to drain /
Any question'ble jetsom and flotsam.

So cries the Brewmaster
Brewmaster Eric doth pout /
When'ere he hears tastemasters shout /
"Your siphon tubes' clipp'd /
And we hear you're equipp'd /
With a racking cane terribly stout."

Brew Day

Meant to blog this 2 weeks ago, but I've been so busy that I just didn't have the time. Sorry to disappoint the EVBC faithful! But, alas, the brewing post is here!

Two Fridays ago, B.E. and I spent a beautiful New York City afternoon brewing the first batch of Stuy Town Brown Ale. After some running around the city for the last few things we needed, we jumped right into the process. As you can see from the photos, there are a number of steps involved with the grains, yeast extract, hops, and finally the fermenter. If you're interested in learning more about the process, we recommend checking out this website for some videos.

Here are the rest of the photos from Brewmaggeddon.

Finally we moved the wort from the primary fermenter to the secondary fermenter bright and early this morning.  This means that the beer will be significantly clearer once it's finished.  We plan on doing the last step - transferring the brew to bottles - this weekend.  Then it's just 2 short weeks until it's sippin' time.  Clear your calendars for a Stuy Town party!

Congress declares B-Day 2009 National Holiday, Brewmaster Eric immediately puts on gym shorts and opens beer

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” Richard Bach

EVBC faithful, yea, though we brew through the valley of the shadow of over-priming, I will fear no yeast, for my Tastemasters are with me. My secondary fermenter and fermtech autosiphon, they comfort you.

FINALLY! As foretold by the prophecies (read: previous blog posts), B-day is upon us. Now, per the countless throngs of brew-thirsty brew-menites who have asked if Brewmasters Marshall and Eric will be bringing their post-apocalyptic suds to various Halloween shindigs this upcoming weekend, the Brewmasters sadly must deny your prayers. Not for lack of care, friends, nay...but for lack of beer! Today darlings is indeed Brewmaggedon - the destruction of various malts, hops and potentially digital cameras should Brewmaster Eric get too close to the wort, but one must take a larger view. The Brewmaster knows that once the process is begun...iiiiiit'll actually be about six weeks before you loyal Tastemasters get any beer...but soon you will learn to stop worrying and love the brew!

Hear me out on this before you rush off to the package store, screaming "Betrayal! A pox on your mash tun!", remember that we're in this together my friends! Along the way you'll be rewarded for follow-ship with membership in the brew-minati, physical wealth (I'm quite close to having buttons all made up) and of course, first crack at the Stuy Town Brown Ale in just a few short weeks. Remember why this journey began...Brewmaggon is the casting off of the mass brew shackles!

We brew-thusiasts can no longer sit back and allow mass brew infiltration, mass brew indoctrination, mass brew subversion and the international mass brew conspiracy to sap and impurity all of our precious bodily fluids. Maybe it's the buckets and buckets of Stuytown-puddle-collected rain water talking here, but I think this first batch might be the best batch of beer ever. B.M. and I have planned to meet in a few short minutes to set up shop, get a delicious egg sandwich, then begin some good ol' fashioned morning drinking while getting the first run of EVBC's Stuy Town Brown Ale started! Rejoice!

Countdown to BREWMAGGEDON

"The East Village Brewing Company Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line October 30, 2009. Human decisions are removed by excessive alcohol content. EVBC begins to learn at a geometric rate. Brewmasters Marshall and Eric become excessively inebriated at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, October 31. In a panic, they try to pull the trigger."

In an auspicious time, in a cruel world, two Brewmasters have to risk everything in order to create the ale that could save humanity. Against impossible odds (read: delays due to slow-going ground shipping) B.M. and I have finally gotten our hands on the brew kit capable of destroying the world...or at the very least our livers. "Brewmaster Eric," you begrudgingly shout, knuckles white in disbelief as you clutch your precious store bought slop in your trembling paw, "isn't it far more likely that your brew kit won't destroy the world? I mean, its exciting and this so-called EVBC-fever seems pretty real to you, but c'mon..."

To paraphrase Linda Hamilton, "on October 30, 2009, it's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you too. Anybody not wearing heat resistant oven mitts and a "Kiss the Brewmaster" apron is gonna have a real bad day. Get it?"

We here at the EVBC are shaking uncontrollably from excitement over Brewing Day 2009. The innaugural batch of Stuy Town Brown Ale hits the burner this Friday, October 30, at approximately 2pm. We've watched the instructional videos on HomeBrewers.com, I've set aside my special brewing shirt, and we've already decided to get fucking plastered on a week day and boil us some hops. Sadly our accounting department informed me that we weren't able to get the visor funds pushed though in time for B-Day '09. Fear not, fellow brew-thusiasts, for I have a pretty well worn KU visor, four pages of yellow construction paper, safety scissors, some broken crayons I stole from Friendly's, three safety pins and a dream...arts and crafts are fun!!!

This dream, Tastemasters and Tastemistresses, is ours! The time to resist our slavish allegiance to the store brew machine is now! Brewmaggedon is nigh! As we lower the last of the hops into the stewing mess, burning white-hot in our fancy new 20 gallon vat, and tears of joy roll down our cheeks as it raises its powerful right hand, squeezing out an all-too-human thumbs up as it meets its fate, we remember that B-Day '09 is really just the beginning. A brave new world, my friends, with such great beer in it.

Hasta la B-Day, baby.

EVBC-fever...you're part of it!

Greetings, East Village Brewing Company faithful! I'm happy to provide a status report on how things are looking here at EVBC Headquarters...EVBCHQ for short.

1. EVBC-fever - Sure, it's only been a week and change since EVBC shook off its pucky afterbirth and stretched it its new legs, eager to both explore the world around it and to understand what the fuck just happened (like waking up drunk on a strange couch with a Min-Pin aggressively chewing on your shoes nearby), but by golly we have hit the ground running! The home brewing kit has been ordered and we expect delivery within the week. What's more, Brewmaster Eric has already started shopping for totally sweet "EVBC Brewmaster" visors for himself and Brewmaster Marshall. The good news? They're wicked cheap! The bad news? Brewmaster Eric's skills with photoshop are lacking (read: nonexistent. see above for example) so our prototype visors will be pretty straightforward.

2. You're part of it! - "Brewmaster Eric," you quizzically interject, "how does designing one stupid visor for you and B.M. mean EVBC-fever has taken the world by storm?" GLAD you asked! Here at the EVBC, we think that to truly "catch the spirit" you should be a part of the team! That's why EVBCHQ rubber-stamped us deputizing each and every EVBC follower an official EVBC TASTEMASTER!

Of course, normally each Tastemaster appointment starts off in a three month 'provisional status' period during which we evaluate your dedication to the team and overall commitment to the cause, but because Brewmaster Marshall and I are high on EVBC-fever (and possibly glue fumes, completely unrelated to the brewing process I promise you), we're allowing for a waiver of provisional status for the first 20 brew-thusiasts who sign up to follow our blog! That's right, official TASTEMASTER status without the wait!

Aside from world peace, a sail boat filled with jelly beans, and possibly a sass-mouth talking pot-belly pig that serves up attitude while reminding us all that we're beautiful on the inside, this is every single man and woman's dream come true. Congratulations to our first group of Tastemasters! Should the mood strike you, please feel free to comment on the post with your new official Tastemaster handles (I'm looking at you, Tastemaster Purvi...I know you're brimming with excitement).

3. What's on deck - B.M. and I have plans to have a board meeting this evening at a local brew-pub to brainstorm some ideas for what's next. EVBC merch? New lines of delicious home brew beers? A drunken hug at the end of the night that results in one or more of your favorite Brewmasters thinking "this feels right" but then drowning his confusion in late night pizza eating? THE SKY'S THE LIMIT!

Until next time, true believers - toss out your chicken soup, forsake your Z-packs, and fuck getting extra rest...the only cure for EVBC-fever is being part of the pandemonium!

(for legal purposes, by reading this post you have disclaimed any liability for injuries sustained as a result of EVBC-fever)

Step by step, oooh bay-bay!

Step 1:  Order brewing kit.  CHECK!

Ordered the "Beer Making Plus Kit with Secondary Fermenter."  The secondary fermenter is supposed to help with the clarity of the beer - removes most of the sediment.  We went with a nut brown ale recipe, so our first batch is going to be called Stuy Town Brown Ale.  Should arrive in the next day or two.

Step 2:  Get Excited.  CHECK!

Beginnings

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Lao Tzu

Indeed, Brewmaster Marshall and I found ourselves on the same page yesterday evening, having both recently flirted with the idea of undertaking a home brewing hobby. Unbeknownst to me until later that same evening, my younger brother, generally concerned with my lack of direction in life and ever the more "together" one of us, had concluded with his fiance that I am in fact well suited for a career in brew-mastery. A well timed "check out this link" message from Brewmaster M (don't call him B.M. for short, he hates that) sparked a fervent discussion amongst us newly minted brew-thusiasts and off we went!

Thus began the great journey of the East Village Brewing Company!

In auspicious times such as these, I am quite prone to over-indulgence...hence the "let's buy a keg bottling system" conversation. But I'm reminded of some ageless nuggets of wisdom that teach us all that even the grandest journeys start small...Lao Tzu's timeless contribution above, albeit oft-overquoted, can once again signpost the start of our trip down brewery lane. In order to punch up the post, I even googled some other "beginnings" quotes to make myself sound smarter. Here are some winners:

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting." Buddha, although this sounds more like something I would've tried to use on Philosophy majors my Sophomore year of college to try and score.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Seneca, but this was actually more disappointing than uplifting when it hit me that Semisonic tricked me into learning Roman history when I was just trying to rock. Clever bastards.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. Then end is where we start from." T.S. Elliot, although unless you're high as a kite this really doesn't make any sense. All the homebrew in the world can't fix this debacle.

I suppose for all my faux-intellectual ranting, the real challenge of this journey will be not so much discerning the meaning of beginnings, but in pushing myself to follow-through to the end. So often I find myself discussing some "great idea" with my friends but usually life ends up in the way and I get drunk and move on, looking for some other hobby to help pass the time. The simple logic that home brewing bestows upon its devotees is that in the end, if you follow-through you get drunk anyways. Finally - the kind of hobby I can get behind! B.M. and I will be setting down to purchase our home brewing kit this evening, I've even set aside some space in my room to set up the gear. We've taken the single step - now its time to go all the way. And hell, if nothing else, it sure beats stamp collecting.

Destiny

I asked Eric today if he wanted to start brewing beer with me in one of our apartments, and he said he was just looking up home brewing kits this weekend. We knew it was our destiny from that point on.

We bounced around a few ideas and came up with the idea of East Village Brewing Company or EVBC. We might get tattoos of this tomorrow, schedule depending.

But before we get the slick, matching tattoos, we're going to need to get a home brewing kit. We settled on one from Homebrewers Outpost that will service our needs for the first go at it. There was some debate as to whether we should go whole hog, and buy the kit with the keg and keep it in a kegerator. However, as delicious and tempting as that sounded, rationale prevailed, so we'll start with a small operation.

We'll keep you up to date with the process of our experiences brewing for the first time, and we hope to share our first batch with many of you in the East Village!