The Sock Conundrum

"Those who never philosophized until they met with disappointments, have mostly become disappointed philosophers." Arthur Helps

Now, if you told me when I was a heady young child that I would one day look forward to receiving a pair of socks for the holidays, I would've slapped you square in the face. Metaphorically speaking of course, as I was the rare and undesirable combination of short, fat, weak and terribly shy. A few things have changed since then...I'm slightly less short and markedly less fat (but still joyously huggable for the holidays), and despite having suffered a brand of muscle atrophy normally reserved for invalids and shut-ins over the past 18 months due to my only-partially-by-choice sedentary lifestyle, I overcome the boundaries set for me by physical weakness with an unbridled sense of invincibility and confidence - often aided by heavy drinking of course. While most of these changes are expected growth patterns associated with "being an adult", I'm still saddened by the fact that I would receive a hosierious gift with open excitement. I mean, I really need some socks people.

The so-called Sock Conundrum - whether or not I'm to be happy with the receipt of a sealed off set of cotton tubes into which I might stick my tootsies when as a child I'd be appalled at such a notion - is translatable to any sort of gift of utility that in our younger days would be considered unacceptable. A tie, a sweater, a phone charger, 200-count ibuprofen packages, whatever... the point is that as soon as these things weren't just provided for me by my parents, I realized how much I really liked having them and how I needed to actively procure them for myself during the course of an otherwise busy day.

Brewmaster Marshall and I spent a good portion of yesterday evening discussing this and other Brewmaster-type problems (What type of beer should we make next? Why aren't more people out drinking on a Monday night? Why is that guy passed out in a tree planter? Why did we get into a tickle fight with that bouncer?) and I think we've both come to terms with being happy about getting socks. I don't get that sense of disappointment that would've hung over the evening like a bunch of ill-mannered frat boys around a game of naked Photo Hunt, in fact, I think I'm quite thankful to get anything for free, let alone some pretty righteous socks. Once I stopped worrying about what I'll be when I grow up and started worrying about having to actually grow up, present-disappointment became less of an issue.

Lucky for all you brew-thusiasts out there, you'll never have to be disappointed with your joyous receipts from the EVBC. B.M. and I recently picked up the next batch of grains and what not for Brewmaggedon 3, Son of Brewmaggedon, and a kick-ass Trapist style white ale is just a few delicious weeks away! We're already setting up shop for Poppin Bottles Deux (date forthcoming) and we can't wait to shower our fans with presents and of course, delicious tasty homebrew. Until then, kids, enjoy your holiday gifts and say thanks to everyone nice enough to get you something- even if it was just a pair of socks.